The Insomnia Sessions

There used to be a time when I was known for my sleeping ability. You name it, I could nap on it. Train. Bus. Cupboard. Standing. Curled up. I could do it. Anytime, anywhere.

Insomnia is an odd state of being. I was listening to a podcast the other night, as I tried my very best to quite the neurons starting a war in my head. It spoke of how only insomniacs understand the quietly tangible cloud that is being awake when you shouldn't. That is exactly what it is. A thick cloud which slows and speeds up time as it so pleases, leaving me to sit here and hit myself with a book until it clears. Try and be productive, your brain suggests. 

You can't. At least, not with the useful things that would make your life easier. Your brain is more than happy to oblige enough processing power to lead you onto all sorts of useless endeavors and down creative rabbit holes. Ones that seem life changing at the time, but in the light of day just seem a little bit askew. I have a very odd short story about the moon trying to crush my house that I thought was the next post modern classic a few nights ago. Turns out it is just crazy dashed with jagged punctuation. 

What I wouldn't give for a good nights sleep in a cupboard. On a plane. Give me a rattly, hell-raiser of a bus ride goddammit. I used to sleepwalk often, and have come to think that it must be the same active neurons that are making my life interesting at the moment. I hated them then, I hated waking up in odd rooms and without any knowledge of how you came to be there. Do I hate them now? I am too tired to know.

Ah well. When you finally give into the fact that unconsciousness isn't coming, the rabbit holes are quite incredible. The moon story, perhaps less so. It is still to be concluded (will the moon crush the house? We just don't know. Stay tuned!) but for now you can have this. Part 1 of the Insomnia sessions. Feel free to call me at 3am to tell me what you think, I'll be up.